F is for Friends
by punkgurl-7
Summary: SpongeBob finally realizes Squidwards "feelings" about their friendship and decides to go out on a mission to find a friend who is bold, valiant... fat, ugly, and stupid.
1. SpongeBob's Dream Friend

_Disclaimer- I don't own any Spongebob characters, they belong to Nickolodeon._

It was a bright morning under the sea, and Squidward Tentacles was sun tanning outside even though it was quite early in the morning.

All of a sudden... "hooooonnnnnnkkkkkkk!!!!" went SpongeBob's alarm "horn." He ate fairly quickly and ran outside to join Squidward. As usual, he started to annoy Squid. He kept on telling him what a great friend he was (He was acually pretty happy to hear that he was a nice guy) but after a while, it became so annoying that he burst out.

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!" he shrieked. "GO FIND SOME OTHER PERSON TO BE FRIENDS WITH!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!"

SpongeBob started to get tears in his eyes. He ran back to his house and cuddled up to his pet snail, Gary. "Oh Gary," SpongeBob sobbed, "I wish I had a friend." Then it came to him. The most brilliant idea (so he thought) he had ever had. He would go find a friend! He decided to draw what kind of creature it would be like.

"He has to be... slowminded" SpongeBob said to himself while drawing the picture, (He didn't want a friend that was going to be smarter than him. Although, he thought that there was no one smarter than him!) "he has to be ugly, fat, stupid, someone that lives close to me..." That's when he heard someone knocking at the door.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"It's the pizza guy" the fish replied.

"I'm coming," said SpongeBob.

He opened the door to find a fat, ugly guy standing at his door. "Thanks," he said and closed the door.

He went back to his drawing and looked at the picture. He noticed that his drawing kind of looked a bit like the pizza guy.

"Wait!" he said as he opened the door. The pizza guy turned around.

Spongebob had to check if he was stupid. (He already knew that he was fat and ugly and he assumed that he lived close to him.)

"Tell me," SpongeBob started, "what is 4 plus4?"

"That's so obvious," said the pizza guy, "it's 10."

"Drat," SpongeBob said to himself, "even I don't know that!"

"Okay you can go," said SpongeBob sadly.

"Whatever" replied the pizza guy, and he drove away.

_A/N- I'm new here so pweez be nice with your reviews! Pweez, Pweez R&R!!!!!!!!!_


	2. Asking for Time

_Disclaimer- again, I do not own any SpongeBob characters. They belong to Nickolodeon_.

"I'm ready, I'm ready!" SpongeBob sang to himself on his way to work. He was going to tell Mr. Krabs, his boss at the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, that he had to take a couple of weeks off of work.

"I'm ready, I'm ready!" he kept on singing to himself. "I'm ready, I'm ready I'm ready-edy-edy. I'm re..." he stopped in front of the Krusty Krab. He wasn't ready. Mr. Krabs had a fit when SpongeBob even took a five minute break!

"How am I gonna do this?" he asked himself. "What if I get fired?" he was really stuck on this. He didn't want to get fired! He had no choice but to take a chance.

He walked into Mr. Krabs's office. " Mr. Krabs!"

"Yes, laddy?" replied Mr. Krabs.

"Um... I have to take some time off work." SpongeBob muttered softly.

"Sorry, lad. Speak up a bit. I thought I heard that you wanted to take some time off work!!" Mr. Krabs laughed.

"Uhh... I did." SpongeBob said in a scared voice. Mr. Krabs stopped laughing. He looked like he'd gone mental!

"WHAT?????!!!!!!" He screamed so loud the roof went up and down and everyone ran out of the restaurant. "YOU WANT TO WHAT???????!!!!!!!"

"I want to take some..." SpongeBob started.

"Haven't you ever heard of a rhetorical question, boy?" Mr. Krabs yelled.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with this?" SpongeBob asked.

"Oh well," said Mr Krabs. "How long do you want to take off from work?"

"You mean, I'm allowed?" SpongeBob said smiling with a sparkle in his eye.

"Sure, lad," Mr. Krabs started to whisper because Squidward, who worked there, too, had just walked in. "You're allowed but Squidward would never be allowed because he never does anything around here."

Thank you so much, Mr. Krabs!" said SpongeBob. "Is it alright to take off... um... three weeks?"

"No," Mr Krabs told him, " you're allowed to take off one week and that's all."

One week wasn't enough for SpongeBob but he couldn't risk losing his job for the second time and so he left to start his very long, but in short period of time, quest.

_A/N- Sorry this chapter isn't very long either. I actually think it's shorter!!!! Pweez R&R!!!!_


	3. Gary's Fit

_Disclaimer- Like I've said in the past, I don't own any SpongeBob characters. They belong to Nickolodeon._

SpongeBob decided to go home to pack. He had to pack light because he would be walking around for a bit. (Actually the whole week but he didn't know that yet!) 

"Gary, what should I pack?" he asked expecting an answer from his beloved pet snail, but nothing came. He didn't hear anything. He went into the kitchen. "He's not here," he said to himself. He went to the bedroom. "He's not here either."

He couldn't find Gary anywhere!! He started to get worried. Then he heard sobbing and meowing. He walked into his library, of which he had no idea he had, and saw Gary holding the picture SpongeBob drew of his "dream friend."

"What's the matter, Gary?" SpongeBob said trying to console his pet snail.

"Meow!" He replied. Gary stopped crying when he noticed SpongeBob.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" SpongeBob shouted at Gary.

"Meow" Gary said and started to cry louder than before while holding up the picture to SpongeBob. (It seemed to be floating in the air!)

"I didn't draw that..." SpongeBob lied, but Gary knew that he was lying. Heck! Anyone would!

"Oh fine! I did but it wasn't because I didn't like you, Gary! I just want to find another friend... other than my pet!" SpongeBob didn't mean to make matters worse when he said that and didn't mean that in a bad way, but Gary still took it that way and started to wail so loud that suddenly the TV screens of people that were watching the show showed the planet earth and you could hear Gary's loud wail.

SpongeBob covered his ears and yelled, "Gary, stop!" but Gary couldn't hear him. He yelled louder, "Gary, Stop!!!!!!!!!!" but still, Gary could not hear. He tried one last time. "GARY!!!!!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and he did, and the world fell silent...

You would have expected to see Squidward come at the door, but the week before he had bought ear plugs that were called the "_Anti-Sponge Ear Plugs_".(coincidence). It was like Squidward was psychic! Maybe he was... but that's a different story... anyway, back to SpongeBob.

The silence was sort of odd and scary so SpongeBob decided to break it.

"Gary, is there any way I could make it up to you?" he asked.

"Meow?" Gary replied and asked.

"No, Gary. You know it would be too dangerous to bring you along on my quest!" he said strongly.

"MEOW!!!" Gary yelled loudly at SpongeBob.

Gary was right. SpongeBob did owe him. "Alright, Gary!" SpongeBob said, "you can come, but I don't want you to slow me down!"

"Meow!!!!" Gary said excitedly, and then they both began to pack. (Gary didn't really need much so he went downstairs when SpongeBob wasn't looking and took a lot of snail food and stuffed in his shell. "Just incase," he thought to himself in snail language.

Nararrator with a french accent- Why does Gary do this? Find out on the next episode of SpongeBob SquarePants!

_A/N-I know, I know. I said I would make the nxt chapters longer, but I like short chapter because they're easier to read! But still, I'll try (try being the most important word) to make the next ones longer. Pweez R&R!!!!!_


	4. Where are the Buses?

_Disclaimer- I don't own any SppongeBob characters whatsoever. They belong to Nickolodeon_.

They were off. SpongeBob was trotting along the road humming a song and Gary was gliding slowly behind him. " Gary! I told you not to slow me down!" SpongeBob scolded Gary.

"Meow." Gary replied.

"I know that you're sorry but I want to get to the bus station as fast as possible." SpongeBob said while picking Gary up to carry him so it would be much faster.

"Meow?" Gary asked after a long period of silence.

SpongeBob, being scared because Gary just broke the silence suddenly, yelled "No Gary! I can't boat around! Mrs. Puff still hasn't passed me in my boating test! I cannot boat until I get my license, and that's final!"

"Meeeeoooowwww," Gary said sarcastically.

"Fine! Be that way!" he muttered to Gary because he was starting to get a little embarrassed.

When they got to the bus station, no one was there. No one was anywhere. SpongeBob looked at the old bus schedule from that had been there for 50 years. Of course, he had no idea it had been there for so long, but the rotting paper would have given it away to most fish.

"It says here that the bus will be here in about 5 minutes," SpongeBob told Gary.

"Meow?" Gary asked SpongeBob.

"Yes, Gary," he said, "I know what I'm doing, and, yes, I'm sure about this.

"Meow," Gary said to SpongeBob and went to sit down on a bench. They were there for what seemed like hours. Actually, it was hours! And more hours and more!

"Meow?" Gary asked SpongeBob tiredly.

"I'm not sure when the bus will be here," SpongeBob said tiredly as well, "probably very soon."

But the bus didn't come. They waited and waited and waited. And then they waited some more. Finally SpongeBob told Gary, "I don't think the bus is going to come for a while, Gary. Let's just walk a little bit and wait for a bus at another station.

So they walk to the next station. No one there. The next. No one. Suddenly, SpongeBob started to wail really loud and screamed out, "I can't take it anymore! Where the heck are all the buses!"

"Hey dude!" a fish said, "there's a special week this year, and bus drivers get to take that whole week off. And guess what! IT'S THIS WEEK YOU MORON!

Then SpongeBob said, "Oh," and walked away with Gary beside him, his back slumped over.

"Oh Gary..." he said softly to his pet snail, "I had no idea it would be this much work to find a friend..."

_A/N- Everything bad alway happens to Sponge, doesn't it! Anyway, pweez RR!_


	5. A Talking Rock?

_Disclaimer- I don't own any SpongeBob characters whatsoever, even though I would like to have been the one who made him up._

"Oh boy, Gary!" SpongeBob yelled at 7:00 am and woke up pretty much everyone in the neighborhood.

"Meow," Gary, being very tired, said softly with a yawn coming right after it.

"Sorry," SpongeBob said in a whisper, "but I'm so exited! This house in front of us," he pointed to a cardboard box, "is our first house! I hope we find my dream friend here!"

SpongeBob went and knocked at the door (actually the cardboard flaps).

"Hello?" the fish said in a very low voice.

"Hi Sir!" SpongeBob replied to him followed by an exited laugh.

"Sorry, but I'm a madam," the fish replied.

"Oh" SpongeBob said embarrassed, and then he ran away.

"Oops!" SpongeBob said while panting very heavily.

"Me, hoo, ow, hoo. Gary said. He was panting even harder than SpongeBob.

"I'm so embarrassed! I thought that that Madam was a sir!" he told Gary.

"Meow" Gary said meaning, "Let's forget about that and try the next house."

SpongeBob, this time, went up to a very big house. He rang the doorbell and the fish who opened the door, again being a madam, said, "Hello, is there anything I can do for you?"

SpongeBob was getting red because this girl was hot! The only problem was that she wasn't fat, ugly, stupid and she lived pretty far away from him.

"No, it's okay," he said and went back to Gary to continue his quest.

It had already been 4 days! They only had 3 more days left! SpongeBob saw a rock and went to sit on it.

"I still haven't found a friend and it's been four, stinking days!" he yelled and banged his head and the rock. Suddenly, the rock started to talk! SpongeBob was very scared. The rock said:

"Stop hitting my rock! You'll break it!"

SpongeBob ran as fast as he could back to Gary. It was nighttime and so he couldn't see. He tripped on another rock and landed face first on the sand.

He looked back and saw the rock lifting off the ground on one side. There was a creature emerging from under the rock. SpongeBob was scared! The creature came closer and closer!

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" SpongeBob yelled, "Who are you!"

SpongeBob took out a flashlight (kind of weird to have one under the sea but anyway) and flashed it at the creature, and he saw...

_A/N- I'm sorry to leave you off like this, but you'll have to wait to read the next Chapter. I'm also pretty sure you know who it is!_


	6. Patrick

Disclaimer- I, punkgurl7, do solemly swear that... I DON"T OWN ANY SPONGEBOB CHARACTERS! I really don't!

... a fat pink starfish! He pulled out his drawing from his pocket and looked at it and looked at the stupid, ugly, fat figure in front if him. An exact replica! He was so excited he ran up to this strange-looking, funny-smelling creature and hugged him.

"Hi my name's Patrick!" the starfish said

"My name's SpongeBob," SpongeBob told Patrick, "do you want to be my friend?"

"Me?" Patrick asked looking very shocked at what the little yellow square asked him, "me?"

"Yes, you!" SpongeBob said smiling.

"Sure!" Patrick replied.

...Awkward Silence...

"Um," SpongeBob started.

"Hmmm..." Patrick said.

"What do we do now?" SpongeBob asked.

"Hehe," Patrick said looking retarded,"I made a funny!"

SpongeBob looked at Patrick as though he were insane and said, "What do you mean Patrick? You didn't tell me a joke!"

"No," Patrick told SpongeBob, "the mushy-gushy kind that smells!"

"You didn't make me mashed onions either!" SpongeBob said, "so what is the 'funny'?"

"Well, it smells like mashed onions..." Patrick said and took a big snif.

SpongeBob looked back at Patrick's butt and saw a bit lump... I'll stop there.

"So Patrick, why don't you live in Bikini Bottom, where I live?" SpongeBob asked.

"I kind of do, but I also live in Jamaica, here, hawaii, Quebec, Manitoba, California and many othe places. Pretty much every rock you'll every see, I might be under it!"

"Well there's a very nice rock next to my neighbor, Squidward. It's right next to his house. Would you like to live there?" SpongeBob asked hopefully.

"Would I ever!" he yelled and seemed so exited.

"Well you could walk home with me and Gary, mey pet snail... wait Gary? GARY! Where are you!" SpongeBob was very nervous. He had once lost Gary and, well you should remember, he found him in his library. But this time, he could be anywhere!

"Oh Patrick!" SpongeBob wailed, "We have to find Gary!"

"Can we get an ice cream first, I'm starved" Patrick asked rubbing his stomach.

"No! Patrick, we have to find him! I need to find him! I can't lose him, he's one of my best friends!"

"But, but... I thought I was your best friend!" Patrick said and started to sob.

"Not now, Patrick. We have to find Gary and then you can be my best friend, okay?" SpongeBob asked.

"Okay, but can we get an ice cream first? My tummy is rumbling!" Patrick asked once again rubbing his stomach once again.

"I already told you, Patrick, WE... HAVE... TO... FIND... GARY!

"And then we can get an ice cream!" Patrick said hoping the answer would be yes.

_A/N- I'm real sorry about the short chapters once again, but I really don't have that much time! Pweez R&R!_


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